Friday, August 23, 2013

The Secret Life of Socks

What if the explanation behind missing socks is not that the dryer ate them? What if there is more to it than meets the eye, something just as sinister?

Think about it. What if the socks are not the victims...but the villains?  Urban tradition has it that they are eaten by the big bad dryers. Yes, this does happen, I've seen the photos. But the dryers might not always be to blame. 

Socks don't have a very nice life. Although I've never sat down to discuss job satisfaction with socks, I wouldn't be surprised if it was low. Frequently in close contact with human feet, often sweaty and smelly ones, being walked all over, and as a result wearing down and suffering gaping wounds. What thanks do they get? None. Once deemed useless, it's into the trash with the banana peels. 

In their non-working hours, they are folded up with another sock who is no choice of theirs. Who knows if they like each others' society? In fact, this is probably why one sock always goes missing before the other. They leave alone because they don't care a straw for their match.

And so, the socks slip away... One by one in the dead of night, out of the laundry basket freshly clean, they make their escape, cleverly framing the poor dryer. 

Socks are not the silent victims of the dryer. Oh no, they are the real villains, deserting their posts, whenever they see the chance and laying the blame on others.


  1. I'm sure you're right -- I don't even have a dryer and our socks still disappear.