Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Bills are Blessings

Lately I've realized that I have had an abundance of blessings poured into my lap.  I finally have a full-time office job with fun co-workers who "get" my weird sense of humor. I bought my own car. I started Krav Maga where I am learning to fight and it's great to have a safe place to channel one's anger. The first day I went, the instructor told us to get angry and hit the pads as hard as we could. I was hooked and signed up for the membership after the class. Back in the fall of last year, I purchased a smartphone. Now, with monthly payments needing to made for all these blessings, (which I would not have if I was not blessed to have a job to be able to afford these things), I realized that I love bills. Wow! All these bills! I'm so excited about having bills, it's like my proof of adulthood. "Look at me, I'm being a grown-up!"

Yes, I am thankful for these bills. They are a blessing, I might not always be able to have these things, but while I do, I am so thankful to God for providing them, and even if they are taken away I know He will provide for me and I am thankful for that as well.

Through my storm He reached out to me

I was reading some of my journal entries from this past year. It's interesting to look back and remember where I was and how I've grown.

I found an entry from a little while ago that I want to share. A few months ago I was feeling restless, unsettled, useless. With a need to do SOMETHING to fight it and fight my fears of growing into a boring old adult, I ran out into the warm, dark, night air and swung myself up into the maple. I enjoyed the feeling of pain as the sawn-off branch jabbed me hard in the torso and the rough bark scraped my wrists. I climbed higher into the tree and then stood still, leaning against the slender forked branches. I looked straight ahead and I saw a full white moon through a square frame of leaves and a lattice of trees in the distance. This little square was the perfect size for the snowy moon and it's white aura. The lovely shape of the leaves, black against the deep dark royal blue of night. Behind the leafy frame of pointed maple leaves, flat against the night sky like a delicate Chinese papercut rose the crisscrossing arches of tall trees beyond in other yards and behind the moon according to my depth perception. I took in this little picture and silently was thankful to God that in the middle of my restless, caged-up feelings, He gave me this picture. It was as if it was saying to me,"I'm here. I made this picture for you. Just you. It's tiny and personal. Just the way I often remind you I am here."

You see, for a detail-oriented person, the details mean so much.